Thursday 3 November 2011

I Hope You Never Realize

How every time your eyes arrest mine,
Rapture saturates my heart
And suddenly there’s nothing but your eyes and my love
And I’m  flown into an elevating timelessness
And it’s liberating to be so painfully enslaved to you
In a timelessness made of love and beauty
Of you and of me.
How every time you throw me that careless “Hello”
Ah! The precious moment becomes the day’s climax
To be retold in anecdotes amidst giggles and whispers
And my mind clings to those few words and adorns them with love
And frames them into a memory to be placed in my heart forever
A memory so exquisite, giving such inestimable pleasure whenever revisited
A memory
Of you and of me.

How every time your fingers touch mine; that short handshake
I feel my knees liquefy and my hands quiver
And my heart stops beating and starts again and paces and slows
And my eyes are locked into yours
As I drown in the pleasure of my own vulnerability
And all that my dreams can dare to desire
Is this moment of togetherness,
Of holding each other
Of you and of me!

How every time I spot you talking to her
I can feel everything selfish in me surface and captivate me
And I can feel the savageness of my love overpowering its selflessness
And all that I want to do is come in between
And tell her to leave and ask you to stop
And beg you to love me, and kiss me
Only me, not her, not anyone else, only me
And build an eternity, a lovestory
Of you and of me, only me.

How every time you recall those times spent with her
And tell me about them so casually
I can recognize those symptoms that plague me, in you
And suddenly my heart bleeds no more and the evil is submerged
And all that my hope is made of is your happiness
And all that I want to do is to give way
And tell her to love you and tell you to treasure her
And build an eternity, a lovestory
Of you and of her, only her, not me, only the one you truly love!

How every time you look broken, the mischief vanished from your eyes
Fear enmeshes me and there’s nothing I want more
Than running my fingers all over your hair
And hugging you and kissing your stricken face
And fighting the world for you, your happiness
And shielding you from every danger, everything that bears potential to hurt you,
And telling you that’s there’s nothing to fear, because my love is there for you
Always, my love is there for you, and I’m there for you, sweetheart,
I’m there for you, and there’s nothing in this world more important
To me than you
And this world is suddenly made
Only of you and of me
Of you and of me and my love for you!


How every time you try to cheer me up
I can feel those tears die somewhere
I can only want to place my head on your shoulders
And live in their security, their warmth forever
I can feel the world so safe and inviting
I can feel in me the strength to endure everything
And that strength is the offspring of my love for you
And of whatever little you feel for me, sweetheart,
Whatever little, though that is more than enough for me!
And that strength and that love give birth to hopes
Of a future of jokes and care and love
Of a future so brilliantly sheathed by our love
Of a future made up of only you, and me!
Of you and of me!

How every time you give me that awkward side-hug
My skin burns and squirms and I can feel those pangs of passionate desire
My imagination soars and leaps into secret places
Places of pleasure in it’s completeness, pleasure and love in their unimaginable totality
And all that I can think of
Is you all over me , all inside me
Of you feeling me and taking me
Of you murmuring in my ears and touching me all over with your lips
Of you telling me you love me
Of myself returning your passion with greater fervor
Of achieving that moment of union
Of complete union
Of complete love
Of you and me
As we turn into one!

But I hope you never realize
How my life is tied to yours
How my love is eternally yours
How I am entirely yours
For it would tarnish the naturalness of our bond
For it would probably make you pity me or hate me
And none of these I would be able to tolerate from you!
None, sweetheart, only love from you, however much, but nothing else!
And I’m happy! Yes, I’m happy with what you feel for me now!
I crave for more but can live without exclusive love
Because my love is more than enough for both of us!
Because I can live, I can flourish on my wholesome love!
Because I never want to lose this freedom that exists between us!
And so you must never realize
How my life is tied to yours
How my love is eternally yours
How I am entirely yours
And how I am enslaved to you
And how liberating I find it
And how I thrive on the dreams of a timelessness
Of memories and of a future and of a lovestory
Of an eternity of only you and me
Someday, hopefully, yes, someday,
Of you and of me!

***


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